Today's prompt is "What or whom do you wish to make peace with." I had to think on this for a little bit because I realized that there is a lot of stuff hanging around in my 'ol noggin' that I need to make peace with.
However, I decided on making peace with myself. The me from seven years ago. I still carry her with me sometimes and I realize that it is time to make peace with her and let her go.
Seven years ago when I was 19 I had my very first relationship, he also happened to be married. That whole situation, all two years' worth, defined me for a very long time.
I carried around a lot of guilt and anger, but more than that, I used it as an excuse. I used it as proof that no one was ever going to really love me. That I was not worth anything. It 'proved' once and for all that I was worthless, stupid, naive, gullible, broken, fat, ugly, and weak. I can't even begin to guess how many times I spent laying on the floor sobbing.
I still carry that with me. I still feel a lot of shame. I look back at that time and I feel so angry with myself for so much wasted potential. It's been five years and I still carry shadows of it with me. I still spend time wishing I could go back and change things.
It happened. It's over. It's time to let go. The past doesn't define me.
I wish to make peace with that.
p.s. Please check out my blog post 39 Things You Need to Know in 2012 and share with all your friends and fans.
Oh yes... Letting go!!!
ReplyDeleteJust imagine, how wonderful that will feel *hugs*
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well. <3
I so hear you on that, wonderful wish Dominee!
ReplyDeleteAs you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also :)
As you wish so I wish for you. Seems like a lot of us need to make peace with ourselves.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, make peace with yourself over this. As Dominee wishes for ehrself, so I wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteWhat a huge lesson you had! I find it hard to let go of something when I haven't gotten all the nuggets of wisdom my soul is wanting me to get. As you wish to make peace with yourself, so I wish for you as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful wish. Forgive yourself, and don't carry this with you any longer. It takes two to tango, and you should not wear the guilt for what happened. As you wish for yourself, so I also wish for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful and deserve love and be loved. As you wish for yourself, I lovingly wish for you as well.
ReplyDeleteLet go ... let love bloom. Wishing for you as you wish for yourself i urge you to visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0 and hear more about "shame" why we keep hold of it and how we can let that go and live wholly holy lives.
ReplyDeleteLetting go, very necessary. As you wish for yourself, I wish also for you.
ReplyDeleteWhen we know better, we do better, and without the failures, the mistakes, we'd never learn anything. I, myself, make at least one spectacular flub per day, and I am getting oh so wise because of it! :) Forgive yourself and let it go, begin again. What a great wish, and from the deepest, wisest part of my heart wish this for you. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.
ReplyDeletesuch a deep, brave sharing. You have learned this lesson, as I see you eminating nothing but love! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.
ReplyDeleteSo brave of you to share your story. We are so much more than the mistakes we make. I hope you can forgive yourself and find the peace you need with this situation. As you wish for yourself so I wish for you also.
ReplyDeleteForgive yourself and let it go! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also!
ReplyDeleteDominee,
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful wish! Heartfelt, one I can feel. Thank you for sharing so openly! As you wish for yourself, so I too wish as well:)
Oh, dear one, don't beat yourself up over a youthful mistake. I have done that too, and it leads to so much pain. It is time to make peace and move past.
ReplyDeleteAs you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.